Monday, October 31, 2011

News-Lite 10-31

In the wake of Libya's newfound liberation from Gadhafi, men will now have the freedom to marry as many women as they please.  

A New Jersey Baggage screener will be fired for giving a handwritten note that said, "get your freak on girl' to a traveller carrying a sex-toy onboard.

An Oakland man made the fateful decision to take his mother-in-lawon his surfing vacation.  While swimming in the ocean, she made a tragic encounter with a shark.  The shark is now in critical condition, and his doctors think that he will not make it.

St. Petersburg times notes that Goldman Sach's CEO hourly wage is only $9,165, and not $16,000 as Rhode Island protestors claimed in a protest sign.  

Santa will not be visiting several cities this year, including Columbus, Ohio, saying that they just don't have the funding to support him.  
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